The Wonder of Being a Grandparent

Nobody told me what a wonderful joy it is being a grandparent. I mean, I have been watching my friends become grandparents and heard them talk and brag, but when it happens to you, if you are fortunate enough, well it is different. Even my friends who are Great Aunts and Great Uncles or even Great Friends or Relatives have shared their joy when a new family member enters their realm. It is again something else said by my mother and her relatives and friends that I ignored. I definitely need someone to look me in the eye and say "you won't appreciate this now, but you are going to love this!".  My defense is that I love being a parent and I don't want that world to end. The good news is that if you are paying attention your children really never stop needing you.

 The new joy of my life I call "Mr. Magnificent", because he is, and every time I get to see him or hug him I feel this sense of joy.  My guess is if you took my blood pressure at that time it would be lower than before.  This has been a crazy year which is partly why I noticed I haven't written a blog post in a long time.  The baby came in the spring and it was emotional as the generation shifted for my family.  I have been sick with colds and flu off and on over the change in the seasons.  I blame it on the daycare setting but it could be lots of things.  I haven't been able to exercise as much as I wanted due to being ill and my husband had surgery so I was stressed out with worry.  All of these things are lovely to complain about, but don't compare to other peoples situations, which are more serious, such as coping with cancer or losing a spouse. This also happened to people I know this year.

I am so used to saying goodbye to family and friends who are aging, that I am not doing a proper job of saying hello to the next stage in my life.  Recently, at synagogue, there is a congregant who turned 100 years old. After many speeches by the Rabbi and loved ones who saluted the birthday boy, it was his turn to make a speech.  He said that if you could imagine, turning 100 meant that he lost all of his friends from his past, and that he needed to figure out a way to make new friends. So he found a group at the synagogue that met daily, our morning minyan, a short morning service where people come to pray, remember or mourn a loved one and then eat a nice breakfast together.  The morning minyan is another ritual in Jewish life that many people take advantage of especially when they have lost a loved one or if their spirituality calls them to daily prayer. The breakfast is an added bonus and if you are a regular minyan goer you develop heartfelt relationships with others who attend. For some people it helps them start off their day.  As another friend of mine, who is ten years older told me says, it gives him a reason to get out of bed in the morning.

Routines and traditions are important to create and to share with the next generation.  Eventually, our grandchildren will not be babies anymore, and you have limited time to make your impression on them, good or bad. Passover at Bubbies or going to shul with Grandpa are some ways of instilling memory, as well as, talking about your past. There are apps to record stories such as Storycorp.com that are simple to use and allow families to record family oral histories of grandparents to save or add to genealogical family records. These stories can be shared with their children and grandchildren.  Not everyone is lucky to have happy memories to share, so it is important to recognize the time when it is your turn to start a new tradition, routine or ritual.  You can change the direction of memory from negative to positive by starting a new tradition of your own. Host a holiday dinner, plan a vacation together or even just a regular meal. These events will make a lasting impression for everyone. Better yet, combine the best remembered parts of the past and update them to the future.  Happy New Year and I wish everyone health and happiness!