Advice From the Ladies Locker Room and Rosh Hashanah Hebrew Year 5783

 I was on my way to the indoor pool the other day for my usual swim session of lap swimming which I try to do a few times per week.  I like to brag to people that I have been swimming since I was five years old in 1963 when my mother made sure I received swimming lessons at Landerhaven Swim Club.  I love swimming just for the love of being in the water.   I was born in late February which makes me a Pisces and that is the astrological sign for that time of year.  I never put two and two together, meaning being a Pisces and my love of swimming, until a friend who is into astrology pointed this out to me.  

So the other day I was in the locker room and I heard a lady complain about how she looked in a bathing suit as she was analyzing herself in a mirror.  I walked by her and mentioned to her that I thought she looked perfect and then went on my way. I think she smiled.  I guess I just want people to be happy with the life they have in the moment.  Too many sad and frustrating things are happening in this world that we really have no control over.  We have our WW2 generation almost gone and I appreciate those that are still here. I enjoy a chance to listen to their stories.  My generation and especially younger generations are struggling to balance the role technology plays in their lives.  I truly thought that when internet technology first came out it would be a blessing.  But as days go by and new warnings of security and privacy invasions come to light at the local, national and even at the international level, I begin to wonder if technology and the internet is not a curse.

So how did I get from my joy of swimming to complaining ladies in a locker room to world security scares?  I am just thinking about this time in my life as we enter the Jewish New Year 5783.  Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur are the beginning of the New Year in the Jewish calendar.  Our family had a full family gathering of twenty five guests which has not hapened in two years since the Covid Pandemic.  Everyone was so happy to be together and, yes, we went crazy on the holiday festival dishes.  There must have been five apple themed desserts alone not to mention healthy kugels meaning carrots and cauliflower replacing potatoes, yuck!, I mean yum!  Anyway I just want to remind myself that it is the blessings we have everyday that should be noticed and no technology in the world replaces the love we have for our friends and families as we share the time together on this earth. L'Shanah Tovah!

The Power of Grandma and The Road to Forgiveness

 This Passover season was upended by news of a trusted friend and community leader who took a stumble down the path and shocked everyone who knew him.  After a few days of disbelief I came to the conclusion that failure is a part of success and that it too must be embraced if we are to move forward on the path to a seat a God's table.

This metaphor of "a seat at God's table" was something I was taught when I was getting my Master 's degree in Judaic Studies over a decade ago.  If you can, visualize walking down a path, and then think about each step you take to move forward. Then add in doing a daily mitzvah (or a good deed) for each step. This then is the idea that each step or moment, will bring you closer to being a good person.  There are people in this world who have never had a kind word said to them or good deed done for them all day or in their entire lives.  That random "thank you" or "excuse me" or "have a nice day" that you remember to say to someone at the grocery store check out or any other place you go might just make someone's day better.  You will also feel better because you took the time out of your busy day to think of someone besides yourself.

I came up with idea of the "power of grandma" because as I am learning my new role of grandma and telling my grandson and granddaughter every time how much I love them and they love me, too, it brings back the memories I had with my grandparents.  When I was a young mother my father had already passed away and so he never met my children.  My mother moved in with us and she helped me raise my girls and I am sure there many days my mother felt that she was raising my kids for me.

 I never appreciated enough how she was there for the kids and disciplining them and feeding them and playing games, driving them places, etc.  It was hard enough work when she was the parent in her thirties through fifties working multiple jobs and leaving me home alone. But to "parent again" in her sixties and seventies.  My mom made it work by being the "fun grandma" and getting involved in the kids lives and welcoming their friends into our home.  That was her power!  She was someone you wanted to be with and include in your fun.  She laughed at your jokes and sang songs and smiled.

When she disciplined you for acting out you did not want to disappoint her and so the two of you came to find common ground.  Respect for elders, manners and saying please and thank you are all things that are taught.  As adults you can easily tell who has been raised in a loving way with manners and respect and who has not.  All of this begins with the first step on the path so the next time you see a "grandma" say thank you!

Pandemic to Endemic to Normal?

 Habits and routines, we have been told, are very comforting and relaxing to the mind.  Everyday I make my bed in the morning and brush my teeth.  At night I brush and floss my teeth among other routines. This calms me down when my twice a year dental cleaning report comes out healthy.  It is a positive reinforcement of my routine choices. The Covid pandemic has not really been affected in this case.   Although it seemed scary to leave the house and go to the dentist, when our daily or yearly routines were impacted.  Many of us stayed away from dentists or doctor appointments, when you were not sure about the vaccine status of the people you might find in a small space, like a waiting room.

 It seems silly but with the rise of the ease of transmissibility of the Coronavirus Omicron Variant coming to the United States in the late fall and the relaxation of our lifestyle choices gone again, we are not only more fearful but, in fact, mad and angry at the turn of situation in our daily lives.  The "look back" photos on my phone, rather than bring me joy of memory of a fun trip or event with family and friends, now bring me sadness and question whether those glorious moments will ever happen again.   I know they will eventually.  The question to ask myself is how habit and routine will save me.

As a Registered Dietitian, I hear how people have gained weight as gyms and fitness centers have closed along with an increase in stress, anxiety and depression. This has been met with an increase in comfort eating and baking more than we ever have done. With the likelihood that this pandemic may convert to an endemic, meaning the infections will always lay at a baseline level in society, and never go completely away, what is the plan to get back to a healthy lifestyle? Thus, our habits and routines, those daily activities that keep us feeling normal and healthy become even more important than ever. A least and until we feel more comfortable getting back to the gym and the weather warms up so we can be outside.

As I usually recommend, try to fit Yoga and Meditation into your routine and try to exercise 150 minutes per week.  Eat as healthy as you can and try to limit the extra sweets. Get some sleep and perhaps lay off the information on the internet about things that upset you. This pandemic world we live in today will eventually settle down and I hope life will once again become so normal, it is boring.  I may never again take for granted arranging for a flight to somewhere exotic to see another part of the world.  But I will not be afraid to try when the world looks like it is ready for guests.