The Power of Grandma and The Road to Forgiveness

 This Passover season was upended by news of a trusted friend and community leader who took a stumble down the path and shocked everyone who knew him.  After a few days of disbelief I came to the conclusion that failure is a part of success and that it too must be embraced if we are to move forward on the path to a seat a God's table.

This metaphor of "a seat at God's table" was something I was taught when I was getting my Master 's degree in Judaic Studies over a decade ago.  If you can, visualize walking down a path, and then think about each step you take to move forward. Then add in doing a daily mitzvah (or a good deed) for each step. This then is the idea that each step or moment, will bring you closer to being a good person.  There are people in this world who have never had a kind word said to them or good deed done for them all day or in their entire lives.  That random "thank you" or "excuse me" or "have a nice day" that you remember to say to someone at the grocery store check out or any other place you go might just make someone's day better.  You will also feel better because you took the time out of your busy day to think of someone besides yourself.

I came up with idea of the "power of grandma" because as I am learning my new role of grandma and telling my grandson and granddaughter every time how much I love them and they love me, too, it brings back the memories I had with my grandparents.  When I was a young mother my father had already passed away and so he never met my children.  My mother moved in with us and she helped me raise my girls and I am sure there many days my mother felt that she was raising my kids for me.

 I never appreciated enough how she was there for the kids and disciplining them and feeding them and playing games, driving them places, etc.  It was hard enough work when she was the parent in her thirties through fifties working multiple jobs and leaving me home alone. But to "parent again" in her sixties and seventies.  My mom made it work by being the "fun grandma" and getting involved in the kids lives and welcoming their friends into our home.  That was her power!  She was someone you wanted to be with and include in your fun.  She laughed at your jokes and sang songs and smiled.

When she disciplined you for acting out you did not want to disappoint her and so the two of you came to find common ground.  Respect for elders, manners and saying please and thank you are all things that are taught.  As adults you can easily tell who has been raised in a loving way with manners and respect and who has not.  All of this begins with the first step on the path so the next time you see a "grandma" say thank you!